Letter to a friend

Dear Mr. Monkey,

This morning at 3 a.m., as we sit in this dimly lit room, so carefully and thoughtfully-furnished yet without its intended resident, thank you for offering your calming energy to help quiet the raucous parade of words and thoughts plowing through that space in my head, you know that one behind my eyes:

There are too many lamps in here. Are there too many lamps? I want to add another lamp. It’s good to have multiple light sources. I need to add shelves. Can I put a lamp on a shelf? Then the cord will hang down – no good. Should I move the animal photos down so I can add a shelf above them? The photos are too high anyway. They should be at toddler-level. We will need the extra wall space for knick-knacks that will inevitably collect over time. If I put a shelf above the closet, it will be sort of over the crib – is that bad chi? If I put some shelves near the changing table, I can move the basket of diaper supplies to a shelf, thus creating space for another lamp. Is this room too cluttered? We have to keep a lot of the toys in another place, in another room. Think simple. Think restful. If I move the bookshelves from the guest bedroom into the den, then we can move the piano into the hallway. Wherever the bookshelves land, they will need to be bolted to the wall. Will this make gigantic holes in our walls? We better be absolutely sure before we bolt them to the wall. Hard to fill the holes and match the paint if we decide to move them. Will the hallway be too crowded? I think it will look just fine. Then we will have more space in the den and the guest bedroom for toys. Will we need both spaces, or just one?  I should have a designated play area/room. The den makes sense. Should I make a scrapbook dedicated just to the baby shower? That seems silly – what a boring scrapbook. But, I do have 80 really good pics of the shower. Can’t put 80 pics of the shower in his baby album. Maybe I’ll make a scrapbook of the waiting period, as someone suggested in a blog somewhere. And, include a few favorite shower pics. Then, just store the others? Or, maybe I can also include some shower pics in the baby album, and even in his life book. Oh the life book… Should I include ALL the information, including the personal parts of his story and about his birth parents? Then, I shouldn’t share it with friends and family. Should I lock it up somewhere? Safe deposit box? No, because there will be days when we want easy access to it. Should I make copies of all of his personal stuff and put them in a safe deposit box? Yes, that’s a good idea. That’s what I’ll do. I need to write it down on one of my many lists scattered throughout the den. I really need to consolidate those lists and put them somewhere where I won’t lose them. I really want to move the piano right now. I think I can push it by myself since it’s on wheels. But, if something happens like a leg (on the piano) breaks – if I remember right, there is one that is wobbly -, I will be stuck and have to wake Brian. Maybe he can help me move it in the morning before he goes to work.

This morning at 3 a.m., I can visualize a similar night when you will once again offer your crooked, comforting smile to soothe and lull a weary, pudgy little world traveler, with his little toes and little fingers, with his squishy cheeks and marshmallow arms, and his own impressive collection of rambling thoughts and questions.

Thank you so much. You’re a good friend.