Posted by: CatherineD | February 16, 2010

The Best Laid Plans

Well hello, blog! I wish I had an interesting excuse for neglecting you, but I don’t. It’s been so hard for me to find the time to do anything but the absolute necessities (Taking care of Daniel, keeping the house somewhat clean, remembering to take showers, grocery shopping, etc. Did I mention taking care of Daniel?).

I’m just not the mom that I had always dreamed of being. I guess I had this idealistic fantasy of me as a peppy 50s-era housewife with boundless energy and super-cute aprons. Well, at least I do have some adorable aprons!

The transition from working in an office job to being a Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM) has been harder than I imagined. I find that I’m craving the structure that an 8-5 job provides (wow- did I really say that?). If I can plan my days/weeks more efficiently, I think I’ll feel better about myself – like I’m really accomplishing things.

Sure, D has a definite schedule for naps, meals, bedtime – but other than that, I need to plan time for me, to recharge. Once I can start taking better care of me, I will be so much more productive, and I’ll be a much better mom… It’s just the getting there.

Do any of you SAHMs have a regular routine that works for you? If so, please share.

Anyway, it feels good to be back and blogging. I’ll get it figured out eventually. In the meantime, I have a huge backlog of blogs to read. Blog friends – bear with me as I get caught up.

I’ll leave you with some pics from our Saturday at the zoo. Yes, the weather here is still gorgeous. High of 77 today. But don’t worry – all of you readers that are digging out from under snowdrifts will be able to flaunt your perfect summer days while we’re baking in 110+ degrees.

LOVE love love this pic of my boys looking at the rhinos.

D wasn't too sure about the petting zoo.

This crack in the concrete is way more interesting than petting some old goats.

Daniel's favorite thing about the zoo? This leaf.

...and this rock.

... and this rock.

Oh yeah... and the pinecones.

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Responses

  1. We’ve missed you! These photos are GREAT! Daniel looks quite adorable as usual and I have to say – have you upped the ante on your photog skillz? Anyway, obviously I have no sage SAHM advice to impart but I’m sure there are some other bloggy friends who can advise you 🙂

  2. Welcome back!
    I totally can relate to your post. I too was a working woman, at the same job for 13 years and it was a big part of my identity and self confidence. After we came home, I asked where my ’employee training’ for THIS job was? I too thought I’d be much better at it and would have ‘fun’ activities every day. And while we do have playdates and go to fun places…most days it’s Target. But, I try to give myself a break and realize once he gets a little older…we’ll really be able to dive into other activities. I don’t really have any advice…but I will say that just ‘being there’ is a huge enough thing that makes it worth it.

  3. No advice from this SAHM. I hear ya about recharging. I have been exhausted lately. Mostly because the hubby is out of town for the week. We mostly spend time at the mall so I can let Colin get his energy out since it is snowy and cold here right now. We also hit the local Target at least once a week (always need to make sure they don’t have something new I may need ;+) We also attend a class during the week and try to have at least one playdate per wk also.

  4. Was wondering what happened to you! I felt the same way just after J was home. I wasn’t even working before though, but it still took me awhile to find the groove. Now I cherish nap times. 🙂 Also to recharge- I don’t do anything at night except watch tv I don’t have to think about or read silly novels I also don’t have to think about while vegging on the couch!
    Other tips- get out for the day at least once, even if only to the store. Make sure to shower (really, you will always feel better.) Sign up for some sort of mommy n me class- whether it is swimming, music, gym, whatever. You will both get socialization. Hang in there! You will find your schedule soon.

  5. It was so good to see your blog in my reader, I’ve missed you. Your photos from the zoo are great (that sign cracks me up).

    I had some major adjusting to do when X came home. It was a hard transition for me, but we eventually found our balance. I still have my days where I feel off, but overall I’m happy with our routine. I think it became easier when X started walking and was able to entertain himself.

    If you want to, e-mail me. I can share our routine and things that get me through our day.

  6. I was hoping we’d hear from you again soon! But of course we understand you have your hands full. I appreciate your honesty about the struggle as a SAHM. I hope to stay at home, at least for a while, but I do wonder how I will do without some real structure and also that elusive time for myself. I hope you get some feedback that is helpful for you. Hang in there! And great photos from the zoo, too. D is such a little cutie.

  7. Even though I’m not a SAHM, I also have my moments where I feel like I cannot do it all…at least not as well as I envisioned I could or perhaps would. I think this is true for ALL parents…if they are honest. Just not enough time for everything. However, I’m learning to find a balance…some days are better than others. This has been a particularly BAD two week stretch for us. I’m hoping we turn a corner soon.

    LOVE the pics from the zoo. LOVE the one of Daniel sitting in his stroller looking all coy. And…too funny that he enjoyed the items found on the ground more than the actual zoo attractions. Typical for that age…especially boys!

  8. You’re back!!! YAY!!!

    Oh man, I wish I had some advice. I just try to keep Spencer alive. If I do that, I consider it a successful day. I will say my house is a constant disaster (as in I am getting to the point of needing someone to come in with a dumpster) and laundry is never done and dishes are always piled high. At some point I decided that I needed to have at least an hour or two to myself every night for me to stay sane. (I can’t turn my back on Spencer for a second during the day… but I think you knew that…) Hubby travels a lot so getting out is very hard for me… but I do have friends come over once in a while for a drink and some TV (think Grey’s). As for a schedule. HA! We have a standing playdate and weekly Gym classes. Other than that it’s Target and the mall for us too. (PB kids is an amazing place to burn off some steam as is the big fountain.)
    I’m really bad at “chatting” via email, but if you want me to send my cell I’m more than willing to lend an ear/brainstormt! 🙂

    And again, so happy to “see” you again!

  9. Hey stranger! I am so happy to hear from you again! We missed you 🙂
    First off, the zoo pix are fabulous. I love that little D appreciates the little things in life. Cracks in sidewalks are AWESOME.
    Now for the tough stuff. You are *not* alone. Even though I worked from home before Olive joined us, it was a long, very difficult adjustment. Getting used to someone else dictating your schedule is freakin’ tough. I had lots of moments where I’d just sit and space off, watching her play and thinking to myself “this is what I’m doing today?”
    One thing I learned is that it does get easier the older they get. Olive is much better now about playing independently, which allows me to get household stuff done. So there’s that light at the end of the tunnel.
    But I know that doesn’t help you now. So I would highly recommend creating some kind of schedule and structure. Set up standing, weekly playdates with other mamas. Sign up for parents as teachers – not only do you get someone coming to your home, but they also usually have playgroups that meet every so often. Go to the playground and any other free museum or attraction you can. But it *really* helps if you can give yourself something set and scheduled for each day. Like Mondays, hit the zoo; Tuesdays, go swimming; Wed, the playground; Thurs, playdate with friend; etc. You get the idea.
    PLEASE email me if you want to chat more about this. It’s so important to keep your sanity. And to help do that, go easy on yourself. Keep your expectations minimal for yourself each day. And like Heidi said, pamper yourself. Veg, watch TV, RELAX during nap time!!!
    You’ll be ok.
    And seriously, email me if you need to 🙂

  10. Can’t wait to visit the zoo this summer! I’m not a SAHM, but I was for 6 months, and it was tough at times – especially during tething and the winter months. But luckily it looks like you can get outside – that must help. A schedule helps for sure. I think you need to ensure you have your “me” time – it is so needed.

  11. I ditto a lot of what has already been said here. I like to pretend I have a schedule, even if the slightest thing has the ability to get us off track.

    I have a standing “date” with my sister on the phone (also a SAHM) every day at 8:30 am. This is incredibly helpful. We often force each other to say what will accomplish on that day. We are also pros at talking on the phone whilst watching our children.

    I just found out our gym has a one-hour day care. I have started signing up 2 times/week. Jaden gets to play for an hour in a huge jungle gym thingy and I get to run. Win-win.

    Good luck, I completely understand where you are coming from…


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