Posted by: CatherineD | August 18, 2010

Tellin’ it Like it Is.

I don’t tell it like it is [on my blog] nearly enough… this mama stuff is HARD WORK! Nothing gets the truth flowing like the third glass of really good wine. Daddy and Daniel are doing the nightly bath/bedtime routine, so I’m gonna vent. Stay with me, though… really cute pics at the end!

D is going through what I hope is “just a phase.” He is SO stubborn, and when he doesn’t get his way, he hits me, or throws heavy objects at me. Some days are worse than others, and today just happened to be a really bad one. When he wasn’t hitting me, he was dragging either the cat or dog around the house by an ear or tail… this behavior is completely unacceptable to both Brian and me, and NOTHING seems to work. Scolding, yelling, reasoning, spanking (never thought I would resort to this, but it didn’t work anyway!)… we have to actually pry his little gila monster grip from our poor, innocent animals. There is nothing creepier than seeing him do this with a really weird smile on his face. No remorse. When do they learn remorse and empathy??? Oh, it can’t come soon enough.

Anyway, I was SO happy when Daddy came home today. After dinner, I just cuddled up on the couch with my glass of wine and watched “What Not To Wear” while the boys played. Here’s a little peek at tonight’s antics…




  1. Yikes… I don’t know what to tell you mama except that it’s likely just a phase. Do you think he’s trying to get more attention from you? If so, do your best to ignore it. We’ve found that to work for Ingrid’s undesirable behaviors…
    Hang in there, drink lots of wine, and thank goodness for daddies coming home to give you respite! Email me to vent ANY time. 🙂

  2. Catherine, I was so happy to see a post from you but then sad to read that you are feeling down. I think it is just a phase. We’ve seen some glimpses of this from Max at times, too. Hitting, pulling hair, throwing things at the dog. I hate it. But I also think he doesn’t know his own strength and can’t really be gentle. I also think it has something to do with being a boy. Who knows! Maybe those are just excuses we tell ourselves? Anyway, feel free to whine (and wine!) away. We’re here for you!

  3. Hi Catherine,
    Erik went through a couple of months of hitting and tantrums that were really terrible. I think he was probably just Daniel’s age. It was mostly with me but occassionally playmates or anyone in the way. He has now gone a couple of months with only hitting one or two times. He is talking a lot now and maybe that has helped some. Hang in there!

  4. Oh its so good to hear I am not alone. I have been in the battle zone the past week with Colin and was thinking is this adoption/attachment issues or is it being two? My husband things two and of course I was wavering. We don’t have the hitting but have the STERN no to everything and the refusal to listen at times. BTW, this has never happened with Colin. My new method of coping, besides wine at night, is to sit on the couch and read a magazine until the tantrum is finished. I tell Colin I am right here for him and that he needs to calm down before he can get up again. Fingers crossed!

  5. We also have that going on. Matt’s home with Alex all summer and is having a tough time – and we have 2 year molars coming in as well – lots of fun. Seems like D changes his mood completely when daddy comes home – at least it looks that way from the pictures – we have that at our place too… Let’s all hope and pray it is a phase. In the mean time I’m joining you for a glass (or three) of wine.

  6. I’ve had days where I’m counting down the hours till Jason gets home. He’ll take over while I grab a glass of wine. Some days you need that! Go ahead and vent! I hope D is just going through a phase.

  7. Sounds like Daddy got home at just the right time! I’m glad he was able to take over and let you sit back with that wine. I don’t have any tips for you, but I do hope this phase passes soon!

  8. We are seeing the SAME things here: hitting, throwing things (toys, food, etc…) and tonight he slammed a toy down on my foot…on purpose. OUCH! He knows the sign for sorry…and we talk about being sorry…but I know he has no idea what it means. We try redirection and ignoring. Sometimes they work, sometimes not. Also…plenty of throwing fits, crying, yelling, etc… His speech is coming, but I know he doesn’t have enough words to express his emotions, so it comes out physically. I still find it incredibly frustrating.

    Isn’t it funny…we can be fed up to THERE with their behaviors…and so happy to hand them off to the daddys…but then we’re right there when we hear/see them being cute and having fun. That’s called LOVE, for sure.

    CUTE PHOTOS of your boys.

  9. i hear ya! we have our days too. sometimes i can’t wait until nap time and for blake to get home. it’s frustrating and lose my patience more than i want to admit. we finally figured out how to do timeouts with C and they seem to be helping. hang in there! you’re not alone!

  10. Oh, yes. Yes yes yes. Been there, done that. We’ve found that as Spencer added more ways to communicate with us, it subsided a lot. Not to say that he still doesn’t throw toys at me when he’s frustrated. (Or too riled up) But we’ve seen the same behaviors. And for us, it was just a phase… too long for my liking, but a phase. Hang in there! One thing we found out with the frustration is giving him another (acceptable) way to express it. So he’s allowed to growl/roar. Now he uses the word “mad” but at the time, the “growl” clued me in and I was able to correct the situation prior to it escalating. (I hope that helps!) We also do timeouts, but they haven’t been as effective since Spencer just sits there telling me he is “sad” (sad that he is there, not sad about the behavior) so we’ve been losing toys for bad behavior recently. Fun times.

    Hugs friend!

  11. […] posts seem to be getting longer each time! It’s been more than a month since I sat and had a good whine (with wine). I wanted to thank everyone for the supportive comments on that post. It’s always […]

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